Jessica Story

BURN Survivor 

After being born with only one arm, my parents did as much research as they could and wanted to give me the very best start to life. So I was fitted for a prosthetic arm. Doctors assured my parents it would benefit my development. 

I don’t remember much of my early childhood, but I can imagine that getting used to wearing a prosthetic arm can’t have been easy, especially for a toddler. I can’t remember if my new arm was helpful to me or not, but I do know that it was the main contributing factor for the most traumatic incident in my life, I have the scars to prove it. I have no recollection of that day, and to be honest I’m happy that the shock of it all was too much for me. 

So I can only re-tell the story by going off what my mum and aunty has told me. It’s strange because every time I am told about things that occurred that day I can’t really grasp the concept, instead my heart aches for the people that witnessed it, my heart aches for my mum. 

Obviously heat can’t be sensed through the material of prosthesis so as I reached up to grab a biscuit from the kitchen bench I didn’t feel the heat from the freshly boiled tea-pot sitting next to it. I knocked the tea pot down onto my neck and chest. I’m not even sure if I screamed, but I did go into complete shock. I can’t imagine what that moment must have been like for my mum, seeing her baby girl like that. 

Mum had been working from home and there were a few other people in the house that day including one of my aunties. Mum had no idea what to do and went into total shock herself.  In a state of alarm and panic my mum tore all my clothes off but with the clothes came my skin. 

From what I’ve been told, it was as if mum went into survival mode, combined with utter shock. She carried me to the car and rushed me straight to the local hospital, but once I arrived there I was straight away transferred to the Sydney’s Children’s Hospital. 

Dad had been at work in the city when he got the call and was able to meet us at the hospital. By this stage I had tubes coming from everywhere and my little body was lifeless. Again I’m grateful that I don’t remember any of this, but I can visualise my parent’s devastated faces and I can’t even begin to comprehend what they must have been going through. 

I had suffered third degree burns to 12% of my body. I required skin grafts and was hospitalised for 8 weeks. I had to wear pressure garments for the next 2 years to aid the healing process. 

Even though I don’t remember anything to do with my burns, unconsciously I still associate things today with what happened. I’ve never liked hospitals, I get an eerie feeling whenever I even drive past one, I have a irrational fear of ambulances even though I’ve never been in one since that day, I still sometimes get anxious if I’m around boiling water and there is also the occasional nightmare. 

I often wonder what impact it still has only my family. My parents stayed with me while I was in hospital, each day my mum had to assist with cleaning my burns – probably the most excruciating experience not only for me the patient but for her as a mother. But not only that, mum has recalled the constant and deafening screams that echoed the burns ward from all the other children suffering the same agony. 

Like I said, my heart aches for my mum and dad and all parents that have endured the heartache of watching their child suffer. The trauma from something like this can remain with victims and their loved ones forever. 

For me my burns have been another diversion on my journey for self acceptance and although it was a traumatic event, the effects have enabled me to look inside myself and discover what truly matters. It involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of my strengths and weaknesses. 

We all have scars, some more profound than others. But our scars don’t define us. Sure they represent a story – but scars don’t represent the person. For me the scars on my neck have been just another hurdle on my road to self acceptance, and not surprisingly it has been the mental scars that have proven to be most difficult to overcome. 

There is nothing nice about people pointing and staring at you. It sucks. And no matter how many times we tell ourselves that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Each time my scars draw attention it still validates that I am different. However each day does get easier and I’ve realised that people can only hurt me if I give them permission. 

Please show your support and help burn survivors and their families. 

Paralympian, Motivational Speaker 

Jessica was born missing her left forearm and to this day doctors have not been able to give Jessica or her parents an explanation as to why it happened. 

When she was just 18 months old, Jessica knocked boiling water on herself, unable to feel the heat with her new prosthesis. She suffered third degree burns to 12% of her body, and spent 8 weeks in Camperdown Children’s Hospital where she underwent excruciating treatment, as well as having skin grafts and wearing pressure garments for the following 18 months to assist her recovery process. 

The first three years of her life were far from ideal, not to mention how agonizing they were for Jessica’s parents. However these first experiences were just some of the significant incidents that have contributed to the amazing life that Jessica is so grateful for. 

By the age of 24 her bio read like someone years her senior, outlining not only her endless list of success but also highlighting the many obstacles that people at that age could never comprehend. 

Her sporting success started from the tender age of 10 when she was selected to represent NSW at the state school swimming championships. Her swimming career spanned over 10 years and in that time Jessica successfully competed for her country at many international competitions. And in 2004 her sporting dreams were realised when she was selected to represent Australia at the 2004 Paralympic Games in Athens. 

Throughout her years as a competitive swimmer not only did Jessica experience the highs and lows of her sporting life, but she also experienced many highs and lows in her personal life. 

At what seemed to be the best years of her life to her family and friends, Jessica was keeping a dark secret that would unfortunately plague her for many years to come. For years Jessica’s self esteem suffered, her longing and self believed inability to feel accepted and respected by her peers finally took its toll and at the age of 16 Jessica was diagnosed with Major Depression and Bulimia. 

In a world where she felt she had lost all control, Jessica sort comfort in food. Within less than a year Jessica’s bulimia had spiralled out of control and although she was able to keep it a secret, her preoccupation with her weight and appearance lead to her personal life becoming unmanageable. 

While all this was occurring Jessica was still training, studying for her HSC and met her first love, whom she eventually married. So on the outside her life seemed amazing, but behind closed doors she was suffering. But amidst all the personal and mental battles that she was facing Jessica was determined to fight and make her name in the world of swimming. 

Now 25 years old, Jessica is an accomplished Paralympian, successful University Graduate (BS) is in recovery for depression and bulimia and is a flourishing motivational speaker. 

She is now happier than ever and wants to share her story simply with the goal of helping others realise that life is a journey and unless we have experienced a little sadness and heartache we often can’t truly understand happiness – but when you have, you realise that happiness is a choice and an attitude, and it’s up to us to make that choice for ourselves. 

Jessica has recently emerged from retirement and found her much loved sporting passion once again. 

Jessica now trains under High Performance Triathlon coach Aaron Lean, head coach at MultiSport Solutions, in Newcastle NSW. Her current goals are to develop a strong foundation for Triathlon and ultimately represent Australia in the next World Champion Triathlon Series. Her ideal dream is to be on the medal dais in Rio at the 2016 Paralympic Games. 

Jessica’s story is remarkable and inspiring. It’s hard to believe that someone so beautiful and genuine has endured such pain and anguish. Yet what she has had to conquer in only 25 years, most people wouldn’t endure in an entire lifetime.

More on Jessica Smith – www.jessicasmith.com.au